As a woman who’s currently planning a wedding, my subconscious self has been swimming in something I can only describe as a pressure-cooking sea of pretty, personality-sucking perfection. It doesn’t matter that I spend 99.99% of my time working and less than .01% planning my nuptials – the pressure finds its way in regardless through super-stealthy mailing lists, Gmail ads and bridal blogs. Surprisingly, the fact that my fiancé and I are having a tiny wedding doesn’t even seem to help, because the DIY blogs I visit for money-saving tips tend to ooze an aesthetic of sameness and generic uniqueness. These sites also tend to apply pressure on brides to splurge on absurd things, such as designer shoes with soles that match their color schemes or yards of burlap bunting with cutesy phrases printed on them. The websites do an amazing job of making these details seem like necessities, and I even found my mind wandering from work the other day only to stress about how I could track down purple-soled shoes. I quickly snapped out of this by reminding myself that these details could not be farther from “me,” and I even scolded myself a little for letting my mind go there. After all, (if you’ll excuse the pun) it’s not the soles of my shoes that matter – what’s important is that my love and I are soul mates.
Sure, we’re going to do everything we can to pull together an aesthetically pleasing day that reflects our personalities, but a huge part of our personalities is the fact that we’re both people who find/create beauty within imperfect situations. This quality is what makes me a writer/artist and what makes my fiancé an exceptional designer/inventor. It is also this resilient aspect of our personalities that is going to allow us to stick by each others’ sides over decades and see each other through deaths in the family, illnesses and the occasional screaming match. And, although I know I don’t want to showcase this via burlap flags or color-coordinated shoes, it is this imperfect, resourceful kind of beauty that I want to somehow visually convey on the day we commit to a lifetime together. I can’t wait to share all the flawed, frugal and fateful details with you come August.
Psst: This personality-stripping dilemma doesn’t just exist in the world of wedded perfection. In fact, I find myself confronted with questions of authenticity on a daily basis in my writing, and I think it is also so tragically common for artists in every other medium to perfect away everything that once made it unique. If you are daring to create something bold this weekend, you might want to check out Mia Sharp’s song “Death By Perfection” for inspiration. Something about the passion in her singing voice gives me the courage to be imperfect and risk falling flat on my face…Does it have the same effect on you?