Today I make my wedding veil. It is going to happen. Yes, indeed – despite the fact that I have dodged this seemingly simple project for months – today bears the crystalline/ pearlescent/tulle-draped moment of truth. Oh, and I sincerely hope my little craft project doesn’t turn out one tenth as tacky as those adjectives make it sound…Hobby Lobby buzz words aside, I’ll admit I’ve been taken aback by how much veil making has daunted me (especially seeing as I’ve managed to do far more complex and difficult things in the meantime under the guise of procrastination, like make a film and move across the country just to name a few). This veil-making phobia is particularly irrational when you consider the fact that I’m actually a crafty person who knows how to sew and make jewelry. So, where the heck is this fearful, needle-and-thread-dodging attitude coming from?
Until a few days ago I didn’t have an answer to this question, and I figured this was just a case of me and my imagination doing what we do best – creating irrational fears that keep us up all night cowering in corners and shining flashlights on scary collections of dryer lint and old typewriter parts. I then had an enlightening conversation with my little sister, however, in which she essentially told me, “Jenn, you’re crazy and you can totally do this. You’re just suffering from blank page syndrome.” Ding-dong-DUH: a light bulb and a succession of deafening bells suddenly went off in my head as my sis uttered these words. Of course, I had blank page syndrome! This is something I suffer from on an all-too-frequent basis in my professional writing life, but somehow I’d failed to identify the symptoms (something I also do more often than I’d like in my professional life). With my sister’s insightful diagnosis in hand, I luckily realized that the solution to my veil phobia is the same as it would be for any other project: to simply start. The quickest way to silence your insecurities and fears is to just get something out onto the page/canvas/computer screen, and to not stop puking out your creative guts until a first draft is done. As I’ve said before, starting is more than half the battle and there’s nothing more daunting than a blank page. So, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply diving into a college-ruled page and starting.
Psst: Do you have a daunting project on the horizon, or perhaps an exciting one that you can’t wait to start? Do you find blank pages terrifying or inspiring? I would love to hear from you, even if you’re like me and are having trouble identifying the blank page in front of you. Have an inspired Tuesday!