Inspiring Tidbits, Love

Ordinary People

Couldn’t we all use a reminder like this on our journals and screen savers every once in a while?

In my teens and early twenties I often felt I needed a cheerleader on my shoulder 24/7 – someone to constantly remind me of my self worth, my values, and the fact that my hardships would all pay off someday. This need for never-ending pep talks was partially because I was romantically single, but more so because I was young and felt very alone in the world. The people I surrounded myself with when I was younger were usually very temporary friends due to the fact that I’d met them through bartending, waitressing or whatever freelance writing gig I was working that week, and this made for pretty superficial relationships that were based on partying, drinking and gossiping. A part of me was not sure if all adult friendships were supposed to be like this (after all, reality TV certainly didn’t make adulthood look any less empty and debaucherous), and I frequently found myself sitting across from dates and friends wondering if I’d ever find relationships with more staying power and depth or whether this was as good as it got…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to blame the people who were in my life back then;  rather, I kind of want to blame myself for getting caught up in a world of temporariness, romantic game playing and drinking that made it impossible for anyone to share their true selves or forge real connections. I eventually broke this pattern of fleeting friendships and hangovers by focusing on my career and spending my weekends in writers’ groups instead of night clubs, but I still don’t think my sense of loneliness was assuaged until I entered grad school. This is to say, it’s been a long road from the single-serving relationships of my young adulthood to the strong friendships I now have with my spouse and former classmates. And, if I could give one piece of advice to that girl of the past who’s getting herself ready for another discouraging Saturday night on the town it would be this: never love or befriend anyone who sees you as ordinary, and never spend hours, tears, or tubes of lip gloss on someone who doesn’t make you want to know their secret souls. May you have a weekend that’s full of far-from ordinary people who treat you like like the extraordinary darling you are.

Photo via Pinterest.

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3 Comments

  • Reply yajaira July 18, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    I totally agree with this saying

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    • Reply Jennifer R. Coté July 19, 2011 at 8:29 pm

      Yeah, I can’t look at that lovely reminder often enough. It’s uncanny how certain turns of phrase can so accurately capture truths of life. 🙂

  • Reply Singular Sensations | coté writes October 7, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    […] whom you can wear sweatpants, eat ice cream, and snuggle up on the couch for all eternity. Man, I hated this when I was single. Who says you really need to spend all your free time clubbing, though? If you love going out with […]

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