I’ve spent the past two weekends doing some heavy-duty housekeeping on this site – a very tedious process that has involved a lot of trial and error and quite a few 12-hour stints in coffee shops. On my last WiFi-enabled, caffeine-laden bout of tagging and reformatting 230+ posts, I made the mistake of sitting across from someone who wanted to talk about it. (Don’t you just hate those someones in coffee shops?) Not only did this someone gloss over my don’t-ask-me-about-more-than-the-weather nods and half smiles, but once he’d pestered me into describing the kind of stuff I blog about, he told me, “That sounds nice, but you’ll have to find a more specific niche if you ever want to be a famous blogger.” I agreed wholeheartedly and laughed, saying, “I don’t want to be famous, I just want to be read.”
This interaction with Mr. Coffee Shop stuck with me in that way only random encounters can, and it ended up inspiring me to compile a silly list of all the reasons why I will never be a famous blogger. Since the process of writing it gave me a few giggles after a long day, I figured I’d share this list with you to help start the week off with a little levity. Here goes…
Why I will never be a famous blogger (a how-to in reverse):
- I prefer words to pictures.
- I do not capture my daily fashion choices on camera (and if I did, this would damage my blogging rep even more).
- I wear sneakers instead of cowgirl boots, and I don’t even wear defiantly hip Converse – I wear the heavy-duty kind of running shoes I’ll need when escaping an evil pack of vampire ninjas in a dark alley.
- I legitimately think I will one day have to escape an evil pack of vampire ninjas in a dark alley.
- I will never wear skinny jeans or drink skinny lattes. Unless, of course, I come across a Styrofoam cup labeled “Skinny Cow,” in which case I will gulp that sucker down based on the assumption that it is full of melted ice cream and cookie crumbles.
- I live off frozen yogurt and takeout, and do not cook for a large brood of chubby yet endearing children whose silly sayings I quote back to you alongside yummy recipes.
- I do not have an Etsy shop from which I give away crafts each Wednesday.
- I started blogging in 2010 instead of the golden year of 2007. (If you’re serious about becoming a famous blogger, a time machine is a must-have accessory this fall.)
- I only leave comments on other blogs I honestly read and admire, instead of blindly posting things on popular sites in hopes of gaining web traffic. (Yup, if you’re a blogger whose site I leave comments on, this means I really do read and admire your site.)
- I write about horror movies one day and dating tips the next. (What can I say? I trust that there are readers out there who don’t want me to niche-ify myself and are sophisticated enough to know genuineness when they see it…Yeah, that’s right my darling readers, I adore you and am calling you sophisticated.)
All self-deprecation and list making aside, I realize Mr. Coffee Shop’s unsolicited advice was actually very accurate and I’m sure he had nothing but the kindest intentions of helping me. In a really roundabout way, I guess this interaction did help, because those simple words I uttered back to him (“I don’t want to be famous, I just want to be read”) so clearly express the way I feel about the hours of passionate work I pour into my craft, and it felt good to say them out loud. It also felt good to accomplish so many little improvements on this site, because I really do care about making this blog as visually pleasing and readable as possible. I care about these things because I love writing and being read, and I want this labor of love (otherwise known as my corner of the internet) to foster real, meaningful connections with anyone out there reading. I’ve got a few more aesthetic upgrades coming soon to this site, but please let me know if there are any changes you’d like to see in the meantime…Thank you, my lovelies, for making my day a thousand times better every time you read my words!
Psst: Have you ever received unsolicited advice from a stranger? Did you find the experience helpful or unsettling? How did you react? I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment.