Finding Beauty

Doesn't this whimsical image of a girl blowing glitter from the palms of her hands just make you love life?

Each Tuesday I share a new snippet of inspiration with you, and – even though this is often the highlight of my week – I sometimes worry that I sound like a broken record. For this reason, I began writing a very personal post a while back that attempts to explain why all these minutely different pieces of inspiration are so important to me, but every Tuesday I run into a minor snag (a.k.a., my fingers refuse to hit that pesky little “publish” button). Sharing painful, embarrassing, and deeply personal things with the entire blogoshpere is scary after all, and this is my admission to you that I get very scared at times. Despite the fact that my personal (and likely overwrought) post will remain unpublished on my desktop until the day when I muster up enough courage to share it, I simply can’t let another week go by without talking to you about how much the pursuit of beauty and inspiration really does matter in my life.

The truth is, I was not always someone who saw a whole lot to be inspired by in life. In pop-psychology terms, you could say – as lots of doctors did – that I was someone who struggled with chronic depression. This depression consumed my teen years and early twenties in both the clinical sense and shitstorm sense; in other words, no matter how much medication I took to battle my melancholy moods, a series of heart-wrenching events – from deaths to physically abusive relationships – kept raining down on me and sucking the hope out of my life. I eventually found myself at a point where I simply could not see any tangible proof that things were going to get better, and this kind of sadness is something I would never wish upon anyone. Far too many people face this all-consuming loneliness and hopelessness every day, however, and it took hitting a very painful rock bottom for me to realize that sometimes the only way to find hope is to actively look for it and create it ourselves. I was very alone and afraid, but there came a moment when I admitted that no matter how unfair life was, this was my one and only shot at it and no one was going to make my life better for me. The road to this realization was quite complicated, but the simple end result was this: I started looking for the littlest of happy things in all the veritable sidewalk cracks of life, and began cataloging every trace of beauty and hope I found there – no matter how small.

The habit of seeking out signs of goodness in even the tiniest things (along with years of hard work) eventually helped me become hopeful about my life again, and – although I finally left my depression behind me – this habit of hopefulness has become such a key part of my life and identity as a writer. This is because the things that genuinely inspire me to create are almost always examples of beauty in chaos, or of hope amidst despair. In fact, this love of the unlikely has led me to my personal philosophy that any artist’s job is to create hope and beauty where there seemingly is none to be found. The struggle to find hope and a reason to live against all odds is a story worth sharing a thousand times over after all, and I look forward to sharing some variation of this story with you every Tuesday as well as on a thousand other days through a thousand other art forms/sidewalk cracks that are yet to be discovered.

Psst: Does anything in my story ring true to you? What pieces of beauty, hope, and inspiration have you found today? Leave a comment.

Photo from Mochatini and Christina Re via Pinterest.

You might also like:

About Jennifer Coté

I am dedicated to the craft of writing feature-length screenplays, TV scripts and fiction, and am truly humbled by your interest in my blog. Feel free to read the "About" section of this site for more info on me and how this blog started. It is so lovely seeing you; do come again soon!
This entry was posted in Inspiring Tidbits and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Finding Beauty

  1. hi jennifer ~ i thank you for sharing your truly inspiring personal story! i don’t blame you for being afraid to hit the publish button for the entire blogosphere to see ~ it’s scary!! and i commend you for finding hope and trying to see the beauty in little things ~ i believe that this is the key to happiness ~ trying to find good in everything ~ no matter how small or brief. i like how describe them as cracks in the sidewalk, such a cool analogy. and i must say that you do write beautifully and i thank you for your thoughtful and supportive comments as always!! i hope your day was a great one and cheers to tomorrow!!!
    xoxo ~ kristina

  2. Lucinda says:

    Jennifer, your post was a true inspiration. And I have to say that you made my day by reading something so personal and relatable. Everybody has a story to tell eh. And to be as brave as you are to share your outlook on life is appreciated.

    I love the photo that you posted along with your writing. It’s definitely uplifting!

    http://www.oneofplenty.com

  3. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such thoughtful comments, Kristina! Your support and genuineness is always a bright spot in my day, and I only hope I can bring similar snippets of joy into the sidewalk cracks of your days as well. :) Cheers to another lovely day of finding good in the small stuff! -Jennifer

  4. Awww, now you are making my day, Lucinda! I love hearing that my story touched you, and your response actually makes me all the more brave about sharing personal things in the future. Thank you so much for reading and staying in touch! -Jennifer

  5. Anna says:

    Your truely incredible for sharing a story like this Jennifer. I think sometimes people try to keep the sometimes darker side of our lives out of their blogs but I just think that keeps away the realness. You are remarkable to be the one responsible for actively choosing YOU had to find the beauty in life and the little things. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

    Anna xo

  6. Thank you for making me feel good about sharing the darker, more personal things, Anna! It means a lot knowing that this lesson resonates with you. :) Here’s to finding beauty in all the little things!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>