My husband and I celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary this month, and — man, oh man — there’s nothing like a milestone to make you abundantly aware of what a trickster time is. Lounging in our backyard playing with our dog and his crush of the moment (a squeaky, stuffed-cow toy), my husband and I marveled at how vividly we can still remember our wedding day. I can recall not only every minute of that day, but all the emotions, smells, sounds, and other sensations, too. The way I’m able walk back through that day in my mind and relive all of its mushy moments is beyond photo-realistic, making the phrase “it feels like only yesterday” seem like a major understatement. And yet, when I think about all that has happened since those moments of white satin and purple lisianthus — about the career changes, moves, house renovations, and different health crazes passionately adopted then quickly abandoned by a certain well-meaning-but-chocolate-addicted someone — our wedding seems like it happened way more than just two years ago.
So, exactly how is it possible that a day can exist 24 hours and a lifetime ago all at once?
Answer: I have no frickin clue…
Only adding to these confusing properties of time is the fact that I’ve been expecting to feel a shift in our relationship after being married a while, and this simply hasn’t happened. It’s not that I’ve been sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop or praying that we’ll magically transform into a perfect 1950s-style couple, but hearing frequent jokes along the lines of, “Just wait until the honeymoon period is over,” I couldn’t help but keep an eye out for a new phase of marriage somewhere on the horizon. And so, over the past two years in which we’ve been insanely busy with work and travel, I’ve also had my nose to the ground trying the sniff out any sign of change in our relationship. There have been plenty of changes around us, sure, but I feel like our relationship is one of those rare things that remains constant and keeps going…My husband and I just keep on trying to be the best possible partners for each other — offering support, romance, sympathy, and space whenever the other person needs it — and we keep doing this day after day, and year after year.
No matter what other work emergencies or enticing adventures come up, we know we have to make time to be there for each other and actively love one another. I guess this is the one piece of wisdom I have gleaned from our still-very-young marriage: you need to make time for each other and you need to do it often. Lather, rinse, repeat. Perhaps I’ll find that this repetition-steeped approach to our love and life together is blinding us to relationship changes that are actually happening before our very eyes, or maybe it’s simply what’s making the years blur by so blissfully. Only time will tell. But, time is such a tricky minx that I doubt she’ll give anything but the most cryptic of answers.
Psst: You can relive my wedding day right along with me here, here, here, here, and here…Do you feel like relationships have phases, or do you feel like time plays tricks on you? Are there any tidbits of relationship wisdom you’d like to share? I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment.