All Posts By

Jennifer Coté

Inspiring Tidbits, Sweet Nothings

Cognitive Dissonance

The Kennedys and their once-picaresque model of American family life

First off, let me just say two words: silly me. S-to-the-I-to-the-double-L-Y me…Back in April 2011, when I wrote this post, I was under the impression that my anxieties about child rearing would somehow subside once I was married. After all, I would be fully committed to the love of my life – a man who happens to be my best friend in the whole world and loves me unconditionally for me (not for the power of my uterus) – and I thought this would provide unshakable comfort in the face of procreation pressures. Not only did I make this faulty assumption, but I also thought our move to Los Angeles would bolster me with the drive to put my career on the front burner and leave talk of children in the dust. However, even in this fitness-obsessed city where mom jeans and birthing stretch marks are considered shameful, I find myself surrounded by more messages than ever that I should be able to do it all – messages that tell me I am defective if I can’t figure out how to be both a successful artist, mom, and sex-pot wife. With these societal naggings conspiring alongside biological urges and ticking clocks, is it any wonder that family planning remains on the forefront of my mind? And, if an otherwise confident, career-oriented person like me is plagued with this anxiety, how on Garp’s green earth is everyone else out there coping with their own cognitive dissonance on the issue of work/life/family balance?

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Hipster's Guide to Indifferent Exercise

Foggy

Work up a sweat in your favorite frames while ditching the fog

Since any hipster would look lost, adrift, and – of course – lame without a big pair of glasses framing their peepers, anti-fog wipes are a must when exercising on cold days. That’s right, wrapping your neon-pink scarf around your mouth and nose while huffing your tuckus over to an abandoned-gas-station concert tends to have an effect that is literally blinding when you don’t take the proper precautions. Lucky for you, however, you wear a fanny pack and you have a convenient place to store countless anti-fog wipes, which you can now use liberally on the go…Damn, you and your bottomless fanny pack have got your shit so together that I would almost swear you were a soccer mom or Mary Poppins. Until next week, happy calorie-burning on the sly, my indifferent darlings! Leave a comment.

Photo via Pinterest.

Hipster's Guide to Indifferent Exercise

Exercise In Disguise

You, too, can look as svelte and nonchalant as this hipster in disguise

Costumes have rapidly become a compelling branch of indifferent exercise. You may wonder how this is possible, because – by their very nature – clever disguises and costumes require a lot of effort, but there’s something about the anonymity of a mask and the subversive dignity of a well-fitted My Little Pony suit that is making incognito exercise all the rage. It doesn’t hurt that donning full-body costumes while exercising is a royal “screw you” to the mainstream-workout-apparel industry, but for our purposes the hugest benefit of this attire is that it can help us burn off IPAs with the appearance of indifference. Here’s an exercise routine for your apathetic consideration:

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Hipster's Guide to Indifferent Exercise, Sweet Nothings

Coffee In Motion

In reality this girl is running a marathon, but see how motionless the coffe cup makes her look?

Indifferent exercise tip of the week: Carry a paper cup of coffee on your power walk, and you will look infinitely less active. In fact, studies show that people in tight jeans holding a big paper cup give off the appearance of standing completely still.** Not still enough to actually be made of marble, though, so you won’t look like you’re trying to win a contest for who can freeze the most like an Italian statue. After all, the life of a hipster is not as full of lame, faux artistry as the challenges of America’s Next Top Model. On the contrary, the life and exercise of a hipster is poetry in motion. When done properly all the motion is secret, of course, and this makes you a caffeinated, calorie-burning, ninja poet.

**Who does these studies? I don’t know, and I don’t care.  Studies are lame. Do you think studies and exercising are lame? Leave a comment.

Photo from Feelings Might Surface via Pinterest.

Hipster's Guide to Indifferent Exercise, Sweet Nothings

Every Hipster Poops

Converse experiencing a minor emergency in the name of indifferent exercise

Judging from the title of this post, you may think I’ve scurried off on a tangent and have no intention whatsoever of imparting valuable insight about indifferent exercise today. But, au contraire, the lesser-mentioned bodily functions of the hipster universe are actually a major part of indifferent exercise. You see, when you elect to work out in a more subtle manner than going to a painfully obvious gym, chances are you’re working up a sweat outside and are exposed to all sorts of calls of nature (yours and otherwise). Here are some quick fixes to help keep you burning calories straight on through fields of cow manure, while keeping everyone none the wiser…

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Hipster's Guide to Indifferent Exercise, Sweet Nothings

The Hipster’s Guide to Indifferent Exercise

Broken neon-green shades are just a casualty of indifferent exercise

Do you ever see a hipster’s legs looking so damn svelte in skinny jeans and wonder, “How does he do it?” I know I do; fitting into tight pants takes a lot of work, and concealing all this hard work from the world requires even more effort. Lucky for you, me, and that pudgy poser over there wearing a fanny pack and Christmas knee socks, the veil is finally being lifted from the skinny-jeans secret. With The Hipster’s Guide to Indifferent Exercise, you, too, can get a complete workout without letting on to the world that you’re actually trying. Just to give you a taste of what to expect from this pragmatic column in the weeks to come, let’s start by tackling the three biggest wardrobe issues facing indifferent exercisers today…

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Sweet Nothings

LARKSTORM Cover Reveal

“Larkstorm” by Dawn Rae Miller, cover art by Sarah Marino

You are now one of the first people on the planet to see the cover of Dawn Rae Miller’s debut young-adult novel “Larkstorm.” When the characters and epic love stories of this book are famous, you’ll be able to say you saw this glimpse of the cover first – yeah, that’s right, you saw it even before this hauntingly beautiful image hit the presses. Pretty rad, eh?

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Sweet Nothings

Complementary Colors

Paint-streaked brick building

My best friend from childhood once decorated her college dorm room in vibrant blues and oranges. From the moment this sea of complementary colors enveloped her room, she wondered aloud whether the oil-pastel drawings covering the walls and swaths of patterned, Indian fabrics draping the bed and windows would make her dizzy with the way the hues buzzed off each others’ surfaces. But, I loved everything about them and came to associate orange and blue with my home away from home. I would take Amtrak to visit her for long weekends on her campus, which was just outside New York City, and we would stay up far too late listening to piano-driven pop music and talking about art, what little we knew of love, and our dreams. Everything about our futures seemed so limitless back then, and – the funny thing is – merely thinking about this friend’s pastel drawings and our endless conversations makes my future feel similarly boundless even now…

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Sweet Nothings

The Dear Hunter

My dad carrying me on his back through the woods of Massachusetts

My parents met while teaching at a school for deaf boys, which meant both that they were fluent in sign language and liked a certain degree of quiet. This last bit has always been particularly true of my dad, a man who’s been known to disappear for whole days on nature trails and has read every single Russian or French novel that’s ever weighed in at over 1,000 pages. Fittingly, my sisters and I bonded with him over mellow activities in our childhood – be it through exploring Boston’s Arnold Arboretum, dissecting the characters of “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” or taste testing pizzas all around New England. Another quiet obsession he tried to draw us into long ago was that of deer hunting, err gazing…

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Inspiring Tidbits, Sweet Nothings

Why I Write

Typewriter, flowers and coffee – I wish my writing set up looked like this

It can happen somewhere as simple as a doctor’s office or cafe, but all it takes is a glimpse of medical scrubs or chef’s whites and I’m a goner. I drift into a daydream in which I wake up to morning sun as gentle as lemonade and a kitchen sink that isn’t full of dishes, and then I pack a thermos of soup for lunch and ride my bike to work in a neatly starched uniform. At the office, I file things away the moment they cross my desk, make a difference in people’s lives for hours on end, and then maybe rehearse for a community theater production of “Pippin” before biking home for dinner. Once I get to this point in my fantasy, an optometrist usually jars me awake with, “Now, cover your left eye,” and I look back at him/her with what can only seem like the most psychotic brand of puppy-dog infatuation on the planet. Yeah, that’s right: I fantasize about being an optometrist. I realize this may sound insane, considering many an optometrist, chef, or meter maid out there probably fantasizes about being a writer on a regular basis, but what can I say? I feel there’s something positively dreamy about uniforms, office hours and designated stopping points…

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