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Love

Love, Sweet Nothings

‘Tis Time

A photo of my sweet and I at his company’s holiday party this past weekend, and a birthday present I eagerly await tearing open tomorrow

Tuesday is my birthday, and there really is nothing like this kind of milestone to make a gal ponder time and the all-too-reliable way in which it flies. It’s crazy to think that at this time last year the husband was surprising me with a proposal in a Texan sculpture garden, and it’s even more absurd to fathom that in the year since we have moved halfway across the country, changed jobs, traveled to South America and Europe, made a short film, potty trained a puppy, and – oh yeah- gotten married…

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Love

Goodbye, Dear Wedding Dress

The folds of satin to which I just bid adieu… Hanging in a tree, naturally. Photo credit: Clayton Austin

This weekend I boxed up my wedding dress to mail it off to Oregon, where it will be sold through Brides Against Breast Cancer. I had the dress cleaned more than a month ago and bought a big shipping box the very same day, but it has taken me until now to muster up the courage to say goodbye. This sounds so petty when I think about the courage it takes for women to battle the very same disease I’m donating my dress in order to help fight, but what I’ve realized as I’ve clung tight to my wedding gown and ignored the cardboard box looming in the middle of my apartment is this: I’m donating the dress for far more reasons than just a charitable cause…

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Love

Sparkle or Settle

Repurposed sign letters spelling out ROMANCE by Jack Pierson

It’s hard to talk about dating and love these days without devoting quite a bit of time to the topic of settling. Our youngish generation of X/Y/Z-ers was practically reared on daily spoon feedings of “don’t settle” tales from our parents and the media after all, and yet I see a surprising number of people settle every day in tragic ways and witness even more people refuse to settle in ways that they probably should. “What’s this blaspheme?” I hear that heckler in the peanut gallery shout, “You think it’s ever remotely okay to settle in matters of the heart?” My simple answer: yes, there’s a time and a place where settling is actually a good thing. I know I will catch a lot of flack for writing this no matter what, but let me try to explain…

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Love

Three Zero

My love and me captured by the lens of Clayton Austin

Just three years ago today (on October 30, 2008), my husband and I had our first date on the patio of a sleepy cantina in Austin, Texas. We talked about Soderbergh movies, had a Diet-Coke-drinking contest, and I decided then and there that I wanted to know this handsome guy forever. By some crazy stroke of good fortune, he made the very same decision about me on that creaky wood patio, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I get to know him a little bit more every day for the rest of our lives. It won’t always be as easy to know each other as it is now, and I would be lying if I said this didn’t scare the shit out of me. But, a wise person once told me no dream is worth having unless it scares you a little. I guess this scariness (of the mysterious future, the hard work, and the backaches it will likely take to support one another in the years when our batting averages aren’t so stellar) is really just a small price to pay in order to live out the dream of knowing my dearest friend for all eternity.

Psst: The above photo is part of a love story that was shot by the infinitely talented Clayton Austin back in May of 2011. Would you like to see more snippets from this photographic love story? Leave a comment.

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Love

Sleeping Together

Ah, the romantic notion of hearts that sleep in tandem

The act of sleeping beside our beloveds is almost always more romantic in our minds than in reality. This is because what begins so elegantly with heads resting on chests, heartbeats echoing in ears, and arms draping over stomachs, so often ends with wriggle-kicking, sweaty limbs, blanket stealing, and someone getting punched in the eye or stabbed in the derriere with a toenail. My ideas of what it would be like to share a bed with my husband after our move to California were similarly over-romanticized not only in that I had the faulty impression that blanket hogging would not exist in the golden state that introduced the world to California king mattresses, but in that I made the crazy assumption that my love and I would actually go to bed and wake up beside one another at the same time. You see, we’d spent much of our relationship commuting long distances for work and cherishing the few nights out of every week that we were able to fall asleep in the same state (let alone beneath the same covers), so I couldn’t imagine any scenario in which we’d take a single night at home together for granted. This is to say, I kinda didn’t think about the fact that my hubby is perpetually flying out the door at the crack of dawn so he can take European conference calls and I’m almost religiously staying up until 4 a.m. writing.

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Love

Honest Hearts

Much like these youthful lovers I spotted in Amsterdam, we are almost always hiding something from ourselves and others when it comes to dating

As long as there are people out there sipping Malibu breezes, unbuttoning too many buttons, and scoping the club scene for one-night stands, there will always be people who lie about what they want from love. The tricky thing is, these lies aren’t always easy to spot and sometimes we even tell them to ourselves. I could so quickly lapse into a rant about how exhausting this dishonesty and romantic game playing is, but I’m going to do my best to focus all this verbose energy into a more useful tirade. Specifically, I want to talk with you for a hot second about the two issues of romantic honesty that we can actually control as individuals: 1) being honest with ourselves about what we want from our dating lives, and 2) being diligent about determining whether or not our potential romantic partners are being honest with us. Here’s the skinny, my dears…

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Love

Singular Sensations

Oh to be as content as this solitary gal in a Parisian cafe

This first installment of my new dating series is neither sensational nor speedy, but I think it’s the most important step toward finding one’s soul mate. After all, if catchy, quick fixes for our love lives really worked, the thousands of self-help books out there would have married off far more people long ago. So, what exactly is this big yet boring step to love? Learning to embrace life on our own. I know this sounds trite and downright infuriating to those ladies and gents who’ve been one with themselves for-frickin-ever and are tired of playing solitaire, uneasy in their easy chairs (jazz reference – had to, sorry), but there are so many people on the dating scene right now who are capable of doing almost anything other than being alone. If you are not one of these people, rest assured that more nitty-gritty dating tips will follow on Fridays yet to come, but in the meantime I hope you find at least a smidgen of entertainment and/or illumination in the following tips…

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Love

Workaholics In Love

Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller at home – two artistic workaholics who eventually stopped working at their relationship

In case you haven’t noticed, I am a workaholic and my husband is too. One of the giddiest sensations I can ever recall is actually when I realized this on our first date a little less than three years ago. I immediately saw visions of sprawling on the sofa working together with laptops and sketch pads, our feet entwined – I saw us waking up beside each other in the middle of the night and unabashedly turning on reading lamps so we could scribble down ideas, and I even foresaw him knowing just how to walk through the house without making any noise whenever my office door was shut. Okay, maybe that giddy feeling came more from meeting the love of my life than from seeing these visions, but I still think our work habits play a big role in why my sweet and I are so perfect for each other. This is to say: we both share a commitment to creating and bringing new things into the world, and the ways in which our goals/ever-expanding passion projects are compatible helps us to both support and have a greater understanding of each other…

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Love

My Kind of Timeless

That day we got married on a cliff by the sea. Photo credit: Clayton Austin

When you look forward to one specific day your whole life, it’s an understatement to say you build up a residue of misconceptions. When this day involves a wedding, the misconceptions only multiply. There were the gauzy delusions I clung to as a child of Cinderella dresses, candlelight, and peony garlands; the teenage fantasies of eloping barefoot in jeans; and then there were even the adult ideals I clung to up until my wedding day. Although my sweet and I ended up meticulously planning a seaside ceremony somewhere in between a princess fête and a bohemian elopement in which almost every detail met our expectations, there was one thing I simply couldn’t foresee: the fact that I would actually be living out that mythical day. This is to say: I not only thought my wedding would loom on the horizon indefinitely, but I also thought that whenever the day did arrive I would magically become someone else.

Brides are elegant ladies who do not curse, make sarcastic remarks, or communicate via goofy facial expressions after all, so I anticipated that when it finally came time to say my vows I would be more like this elegant, timeless creature and less like me. A sense of timelessness did envelop the day, but sarcastic statements certainly flowed freely from my lips and I’m surprised even now as I find myself about to tell you the story of this silly gal marrying the love of her life on a cliff…

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Love, Movies and TV

Love Is All You Need?

One of the wooden heart pins I made for each family member at my wedding – I wish everyone in the world a chance to feel the deep love that enveloped me on that day

I had every intention of indulging you in a detailed wedding post today, but last night I experienced something that stopped me in my tracks and I realize I simply can’t live with myself unless I share it with you now. This experience took place in an ordinary movie theater, where I was curled up with a pen and paper taking rather academic notes on the Burbank International Film Festival’s first evening of screenings. In other words: I was stealthily scoping out my competition on the short-film circuit, but my pen fell to the ground and all illusions of being a spy shattered when the opening credits for “Love Is All You Need?” filled the screen. “Love Is All You Need?” is a short film about a young girl growing up in an alternate universe. This universe looks and sounds a lot like ours, with mini vans zipping through the suburbs and text messages vibrating from cell phones every second; except, in this universe the privilege of driving a mini van is reserved for same-sex couples and the sensation of an ever-buzzing cell phone is a horrifying thing if you happen to be an adolescent girl who likes boys…

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